David Prashker's World Hourglass

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Jersey

The entry for Guernsey more or less applies here, plus, in small addition...

The Bailiwick of Jersey. Like the other Channel Islands - the only British soil occupied by German troops in World War II - the term represents the last remnants of the medieval Dukedom of Normandy that once held sway in both France and England. Jersey is a British crown dependency, though it is not part of the UK or of the European Union; nevertheless, the UK Government is constitutionally responsible for its defense and international representation.

Not being part of the UK allows Jersey to have its own semi-official national anthem. Written and composed by Frédéric Bérat, a remarkable Napoleon Buonaparte lookalike, it makes no mention of Jersey and is really an anthem for Norman nationalism, except that there is no Norman nationalism, save only among a small number of residents of Jersey, who sing it, at island sports' events, and even, because obviously "God save The Queen" would be confusing, at the Commonwealth Games, at which Jersey has participated since 1958, as part of the Channel Islands, and even won a gold medal equivalent once (in Auckland, in 1990, when Colin Mallett took the Open Full Bore Rifle Queen's Prize, whatever that is).

"Ma Normandie"

Quand tout renaît à l'espérance,

Et que l'hiver fuit loin de nous,

Sous le beau ciel de notre France,

Quand le soleil revient plus doux,

Quand la nature est reverdie,

Quand l'hirondelle est de retour,

J'aime à revoir ma Normandie,

C'est le pays qui m'a donné le jour.

J'ai vu les champs de l'Helvétie,

Et ses chalets et ses glaciers,

J'ai vu le ciel de l'Italie,

Et Venise et ses gondeliers.

En saluant chaque patrie,

Je me disais : « Aucun séjour

N'est plus beau que ma Normandie,

C'est le pays qui m'a donné le jour.

Il est un âge dans la vie,

Où chaque rêve doit finir,

Un âge où l'âme recueillie

A besoin de se souvenir.

Lorsque ma muse refroidie

Vers le passé fera retour,

J'irai revoir ma Normandie,

C'est le pays qui m'a donné le jour.

For any American reading this, and wondering if there is a connection between Jersey and New Jersey, the answer is yes. New Jersey was granted as a colony jointly to John Berkeley, the 1st Baron Berkeley of Stratton, and to Sir George Carteret, the bailiff of Jersey who defended his birthplace against the Parliamentarians during the Civil War, and even proclaimed Charles II king of Jersey when Charles I was executed, until surrender became inevitable, he fled to France, was briefly imprisoned, fled to Venice, where he remained in exile until the English civil war finally ended, and was among those who led Charles II in triumph into London for his coronation. Carteret was rewarded with a place on the Privy Council, and a grant of land, the New Netherlands, which he renamed New Jersey; the town of Elizabeth, new Jersey, was named for his wife. He was also one of those who bought land further south, and named it Carolina for the king; he is remembered there through the eponymous Carteret County. That part of the university of California which is named Berkeley is not, however, connected; that was Bishop George Berkeley, and you can click the link on his name to read the completely absurd and arbitrary non-reason why the good bishop found his name, and his poem - though not its title, which would at least have had some merit - attached.

Marks For: 2

Marks Against: 2

You can find David Prashker at:
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The Argaman Press

Jan Mayen

It is entirely unclear what this cartoon is about, unless polar bears are planning to take over the world and this is a description of their strategy

A volcanic island in the Arctic Ocean and a part of the Kingdom of Norway (France prefers to own islands in the Antarctic, or, like America, in the Pacific).

It is a massive thirty-five miles long and two hundred and thirty-two square miles in area, and is partly covered by glaciers.

Eighteen people live there, either working for the Norwegian Meteorological Institute, or its armed forces.

Some gravel is occasionally collected for use on construction sites in Norway; fish are caught here in abundance; but the real interest lies below the rock, where significant deposits of petroleum and natural gas are believed to lie awaiting human exploitation.

Jan Mayen is twinned with Svalbard in the register of countries, where they jointly carry the country code SJ and the ISO 3166-1 alpha-2.

Jan Mayen island is not considered to be a serious candidate for membership of the UN Security Council nor the G-group of countries at any point in the near future and I am unaware of any prospective entry in the Eurovision Song Competition.

The original Jan Mayen, who found and named the place, cannot be described here, as absolutely nothing is known about him, by anybody, anywhere.

The Beerenberg volcano, the northernmost active volcano on Earth, thought previously though to be dormant, resumed activity in 1970, and erupted in 1985.

This is all ye know on Earth about Jan Mayen, and all ye need to know.

Marks for: Hard to give really, in the circumstances

Marks against: Ditto

The Argaman Press

Jarvis Island

Jarvis Island was discovered by a British sea captain named Brown, first name unknown, on August 21st 1821; his ship was the Eliza Frances, and it was owned by Edward, Thomas and William Jarvis, for whom he named what was not really an island at all, and certainly not a habitable one, but simply a coral atoll one and three-quarter square miles large, located midway between Hawaii and the Cook islands in the south Pacific, and with its lagoon dry.

Named but then ignored by the British, it was annexed by the US in 1858 under the terms of the Guano Islands Act, which allowed any US citizen to lay claim to any uninhabited island if guano, which is to say bird-droppings, could then be excavated - guano was much-used as a natural fertiliser, before the American chemicals industry found cheaper ways to make it artificially. For twenty-one years guano was assiduously gathered, and transported back to the US, but after twenty-one years so many tons of guano had been gluttishly removed that there just wasn't enough profit in it any longer. The UK annexed the island back again in 1889, unaware how far the guano stocks had been depleted, and then the US re-occupied and reclaimed the island in 1935, for no obvious reason except they could, which is standard American behaviour of course. They did talk about building a weather station and even thought about a landing field for airplanes, and established a kind of settlement, called Millersville, on the west coast, the point with the highest elevation, but then the Japanese shelled the island and the theoretical settlers took advantage of the pretext to claim that this was why they abandoned their pioneering aspirations - the truth is, they fled.The island was declared a National Wildlife Refuge in 1974.

See also Baker Island, Howland Island, Johnston Atoll, Kingman Reef and Palmyra Atoll, which together make up the United States Pacific Remote Islands National Wildlife Refuge (NWR). They are managed by the Fish and Wildlife Service of the US Department of the Interior. A second set of Pacific Islands, including parts of Hawaii and Midway Island, are known as the Hawaiian Islands National Wildlife Refuge, and are also designated as part of the Papahanaumokuakea Marine National Monument. These remote refuges, according to their own publicity, are the most widespread collection of marine- and terrestrial-life protected areas on the planet under a single country's jurisdiction - though why that jurisdiction is American is one of the questions that has come to dominate this blog. The refuges sustain many endemic species, including corals, fish, shellfish, marine mammals, seabirds, water birds, land birds, insects, and vegetation not found elsewhere. Given how much damage America manages to do to the planet, and its human inhabitants, everywhere else, can we at least be grateful for this one redeeming grace, which appears to be completely ingenuous and actively sincere?

Marks For: 1

Marks Against: 0

You can find David Prashker at:
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http://davidprashker.com/
http://davidprashker.net/
https://www.facebook.com/TheArgamanPress
http://davidprashkersprivatecollection.blogspot.com
http://davidprashkerssongsandpoems.blogspot.com
http://davidprashkersbookofdays.blogspot.com/
http://davidprashkersartgallery.blogspot.com/

The Argaman Press

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Japan

My dad used to play silly mind-games with people, pretending to test out their intelligence, though really he was just satirising the kind of useless and pointless knowledge that enables people to win pub quizzes and television game-shows. Top of his list was: “Can you name the four main islands of Japan?” No one in my family gets beyond the age of seven without having the answer embedded: Honshu, Shikoku, Kyushu and Hokkaido. There are actually six thousand, eight hundred and fifty islands that make up Japan, but mercifully he didn’t expect anyone to know the names of any but the main four (if you really, really, really are nerdy enough that you want to know them, go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_islands_of_Japan, but assume, this being wikipedia, that there are errors).

Other facts that he might have included are the information that 20% of the world’s earthquakes take place in Japan, that no less than three tectonic plates converge there, and that Mount Fuji, its major volcano, is still active, all of which places Japan at the top of another list – the one being presented to God by those who wish to challenge the intelligence of his design.

Today Japan counts among the “nice” countries of the world, though this is really only a self-inflicted punishment for having previously been one of its more nasty ones, though that was itself only a self-inflicted punishment for having previously spent several centuries in total isolation from the world, being extremely nice to foreigners by having nothing to do with them externally, and never letting them inside.

The land which originally called itself Wa or Wakoku was, for a thousand years, known as Nihon, a feudal monarchy of samurai warriors and much Chinese and even more Buddhist influence. That changed on March 31st 1854, when the incident that should be known as "Madame Butterfly" took place; an American fleet, led by Commodore Matthew Perry, unofficially invaded, and imposed on the Japanese the Convention of Kanagawa, which required them to open branches of Starbucks and McDonalds in every town and village, and to send not less than one million camera owners abroad every year in search of things to photograph.

This breaking of Japanese isolationism led to the Meiji Revolution (either Reform, or Renewal, depending on your political position, but not to be confused with Reform and Renewal in Judaism, which depend on your spiritual position), which took power in Japan back from the ZenBuddhistOcracy that had effectively controlled the land for a millennium, and made the Emperor once again the Emperor. Given that there is no point being an Emperor if you do not have an Empire, the self-determining monarchy determined that it wanted one. Fighting on the side of the Allies in World War One enabled the Emperor to build a modern military, and consolidate Japanese territories beyond the islands, a practice it continued after the Armistice, seizing, for example, Manchuria from the Chinese in 1931 (for which it was forced to resign from the League of Nations), and signing an Anti-Comintern Pact with Hitler in 1936, and a Tripartite Pact with Hitler and Mussolini in 1940 (for which it was thrown out of the unofficial league of civilised nations, though it needed the 1941 Soviet-Japanese Neutrality Pact to complete that process). Having now declared itself amongst the barbarians, Japan did what barbarians most like to do, which is to show off the small size of their dysfunctional penises and the large size of their tatooed abdomens, a practice also known as "machismo". China was the first to be attacked (Second Sino-Japanese War, 1937-1939), but this was just a warm-up. French IndoChina came next, in 1940, but this was just a rehearsal. The US airbase at Pearl Harbor in Hawaii was attacked on December 7th 1941, and the rest is history; though it could also be said that the Americans deserved it, given that it was American foreign policy in the form of Commodore Perry that started the trouble in the first place. As far as American foreign policy is concerned, it was ever thus.

One of the great problems of history is that we look back at the world as it was then through the lens of the world as it is now, and so it is hard to imagine anyone wanting to drop an atom, let alone a hydrogen bomb as well, on those nice, charming people the Japanese, who write haikus and make sushi and who have introduced both tantric yoga and teriyaki sauce into western culture. The explanation of the latter lies in the former – the dropping of the bombs lit up more than just the heavens in 1945. Rebuilding afterwards, the Emperor was retired into a ceremonial role, the 1947 constitution made the US constitution look old-fashioned and conservative, the military factories and bases, both for land and sea aggression, were converted into high-tech manufacturing, and the military itself was banished to anything but peace-keeping activities and cleaning up the debris after earthquakes and tsunamis; though be warned, there are significant voices inside Japan today who regard the demilitarisation of the military as nothing less than a “kamikaze” action by the government, and when they say “kamikaze” they are not ordering a cocktail that is equal parts vodka, triple sec and lime juice – or perhaps they are! Webster’s Dictionary defines “kamikaze” as being “charged with the suicidal mission of crashing an aircraft laden with explosives into an enemy target”. This is also the definition used for “9/11”.

Marks For: Ryoku

Marks Against: Hachi

The Argaman Press

Jamaica

Say the name Jamaica and the word “indebted” comes immediately to mind. No, not to you? Well it should do, because Jamaica is one of the world’s most indebted nations; we are indebted to it for the invention of rum, and for reggae, and especially Bob Marley, its greatest exponent; for Rastafarianism, and especially Bob Marley, its greatest exponent; for Grace Jones who I am told I should have heard, and not just heard of, but I’m afraid I haven’t; for any number of 100 metres and 200 metres sprinters, those who did use performance enhancing drugs as well as those who did not; for boxer Lloyd Hannigan and cricketers Devon Malcolm and Courtney Walsh and Chris Gayle (the truly great cricketers all come from Antigua or Barbados); and hundreds of writers and artists of whom no one has ever heard outside Jamaica; and no less than three Miss Worlds - Carole Joan Crawford in 1965, Cindy Breakspeare in 1976 and Lisa Hanna in 1993 if you really want to surf for photos of them, though Naomi Campbell looks better than any of them.

Sadly Jamaica is also one of the world’s most indebted nations the other way around, and while you may go and take a holiday in some of the world’s most luxurious hotel resorts, the staff who are employed in them go home at night to some of the world’s least luxurious ghetto-slums, and they are the lucky ones, because they have a job, or at least a form of vassaldom and serfdom, which is what employment at a hotel resort amounts to (and that’s just the way the guests treat them; I am not speaking about the hotel management here).

Since independence from Britain in 1962, power in Jamaica has alternated between the social-democratic People's National Party and the conservative Jamaica Labour Party. So says the BBC, so it must be true. The current Prime Minister is Portia Simpson-Miller from the People's National Party, elected in 2011. With a name that combines Shakespeare and the Home Counties, you would expect the good lady to be pro-British, but in fact she has called for Jamaica to break with the British monarchy and become a republic; not a banana republic, as Jamaica is not a major producer of bananas; perhaps a sugar republic, which was the previous form of vassaldom and serfdom in Jamaica; perhaps a bauxite republic, for Jamaica is rich in bauxite, aka alumina, aluminum and aluminium. Probably Jamaica’s best chance for economic success is to offer itself as a modern Marathon, and build vast athletic stadia to host the Olympic Games permanently, and surround the stadia with statues of all the many men and women who have won medals in the past without cheating – this absence of statues will also allow room for Jamaica’s other best chance, which is to turn the island into an open-air music studio. It already is? Oh well, future bright with prospects then, so long as the police can get a hold on the world’s largest per capita murder rate, alongside those other drug-free centres of political stability and utopian housing Colombia and South Africa.

Marks For: 40,000 - the number of people who filed past Bob Marley's coffin in Jamaica’s National Arena, after he died of cancer (brain, liver, stomach and lungs) on May 11, 1981, aged thirty-six.

Marks Against: Unknown - the number of Jamaican athletes who have won a medal at any level of any sport without cheating.

The Argaman Press

Italy

To speak of Italy is to speak of the ingloriousness that was Rome, and then the true glory of the Renaissance, and finally to realise that neither of these were Italy, because Italy did not come into existence until the 19th century, quickly collapsed into the fascism of Mussolini and the corruption of the Mafia, and has been more or less a failed state ever since.

I say the ingloriousness that was Rome, and no doubt that will have taken you by surprise. But surely Rome was the greatest empire, the longest-enduring empire, the world has ever known? Indeed it was - and precisely this is the problem. What, if you stop and think about it, did Rome actually achieve, what did it contribute to the betterment of human society? Absolutely nothing. It conquered. In order to conquer it fought wars, very brutally, and won by massacring tens of thousands on the field of battle, or in the sieges of towns and cities, most of which it then burned to the ground. It enslaved, and used the slaves to build endless long, straight roads, so that its armies could march on to the next conquest, or to transport home the resources dug out of the ground by other slaves, for the exclusive use of Rome. There was some culture, true, not much but some, but most of it was back at home, and most of it was Greek, not Roman. And what did it leave behind? Garrisons. Throughout today's world there are towns and cities which still include the Latin word castra in their name. A castra was a garrison, a fort or castle erected to ensure the servility of the conquered people. Marks For: 0 Marks Against: at least 100, for each of the other quasi-Romes that continue to dominate our history books, from Alexander the Great to Richard the Lion-Hearted, the endless glorification of conquest, enslavement and empire-building by men and nations regarded as heroes when in fact they are the true villains of history.

The glory of the Renaissance, on the other hand, is surely unchallengeable, and the list too long and too self-evident to be worth writing here; and yet, if you look at a map of Italy, it took place almost entirely in the extreme north, in the duchies of Milan and Modena, the republics of Genoa and Venice, Florence and Siena, with almost nothing in the Papal States (Pope Julius V was the exception; the Church found most of the Renaissance abhorrent and burned it at the stake), and absolutely nothing further south in the kingdoms of Naples and Sicily, which comprised more than half of the country.

The Renaissance began in Florence in the late 13th century, with poetry first of all - Dante and Petrarch - then painting - Giotto in particular - and then architecture, engineering, mathematics, philosophy, medicine, science and more, reflecting in one tiny corner of Europe what was the norm across the entire Moslem world from Bahgdad to Cordoba, and trickling, but only trickling, into France, Austria, Germany and England, before it died out again, crushed into non-existence by the Roman Inquisition, which was established for precisely that purpose at the Council of Trent in 1545.

And then there is modern Italy, which came about largely because of that other inglorious empire-builder Napoleon Buonaparte, whose theories of liberalism, never actually turned into practice, inspired the charcoal-burners - the Carbonari - to imagine a unified Italian state with a democratic Parliament. Led by Cavour and Garibaldi they achieved something like that, though again it is more theory than practice, with twenty-one years of dictatorship under Mussolini, failed government following failed government for decades, and more importantly a continuation of the same old map: a modern, industrialised north undergoing a different sort of renaissance - fashion, film and finance mostly - and the southern half still living pretty much as it was living in the days before Dante, Petrarch and Giotto: mafiosi, corruption, high unemployment, especially high youth unemployment, and an impoverished rural economy which was once over-populated, until millions fled overseas (mostly to America), and which is now becoming densely over-populated once again, because Italy is the favoured destination of asylum-seekers in Africa and Asia, and where do you think the Italians are putting up the reception camps?

Marks For: Millions and millions for the Renaissance.

Marks Against: 2.1 trillion (the size of Italy's current national debt, in Euros; and you thought the Greek economy was the problem!)

You can find David Prashker at:
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http://davidprashkerssongsandpoems.blogspot.com
http://davidprashkersbookofdays.blogspot.com/
http://davidprashkersartgallery.blogspot.com/

The Argaman Press

Friday, March 20, 2015

Israel

Because of an international boycott, this country cannot be included in this book. The country anyway does not exist, but is simply, like the Holocaust, a fantasy invented by the International Zionist Conspiracy under the aegis of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. All Jews living in that area of land (which should properly be named Falastina), are required by not later than next Easter Sunday to vacate the land and to return to their roots in Europe, where they will, as has been the case for the last two thousand years, be made to feel fully welcome, especially in France and Poland.

For those of you who have wisely and nobly agreed to join me in this boycott (Jews from Arab lands are unable to do so, alas, as there are no longer any Jews living in any Arab lands, though there were well over 1.5 million of them just 80 years ago), here is a list of activities that you now need to perform in order to comply with this boycott - except that you can't read it, can you, or carry it out, because it was created by an Israeli, and you must therefore boycott it.

My thanks to Michael Ordman and http://freeplanetickettonorthkorea.tumblr.com/boycott-israel for providing the data which I have simply cut and pasted below with a few minor stylistic edits (the site was no longer operative when I checked in October 2015; which is to say that, presumably, it has been boycotted; nevertheless its data is still alive below).

HOW TO BOYCOTT ISRAEL WITHOUT BEING A TOTAL HYPOCRITE:

PART ONE: TECHNOLOGY AND FOOD

First, remove all Intel Pentium and Celeron computer processor chips from personal computers (desktops, laptops and notebooks) as these were either developed or manufactured in Israel.

Note that the revolutionary new Ivy Bridge processor will be manufactured in Israel. Any computers running the Windows XT operating system must be turned off immediately as this was developed in Israel. No current Microsoft operating systems are to be used as Microsoft is heavily reliant on its Israel R&D centre.

Step 2. Any computers that still work need to have their anti-virus software and personal firewalls removed as this technology originated in Israel. The organisation’s firewall will also need to be switched off. Staff should no longer open external emails as most of these will now be infected with viruses. No outgoing emails can be sent. The algorithm (code) that is used today for sending e-mails was made by an Israeli who worked at the Ben-Gurion University in Be’er-Sheva in 1980.

Step 3. Discard all mobile phones, as this technology was developed in Israel, where the first mobile phones were manufactured. Mobile chip technology from a single Israeli company has now been installed in over 100 million devices. Only top-level staff may retain mobile phones for emergency situations. However the use of SMS (Texting) is expressly forbidden as this facility was developed in Israel. No 4G devices can be used, as the chipset is Israeli.

Step 4. Turn off your voice-mail service and delete any recorded messages. Israeli companies invented the voice-mail system. If someone you do not know answers your phone-call, then hang up. Israeli call-centres and call-centre technology is in widespread operation in the UK.

Step 5. Before accepting any printed material, check that the supplier has not used the Israeli device that might have saved up to 50% of the ink used.

Step 6. Do not use Facebook as many in-built and add-on applications are Israeli-developed. Do not watch videos on the Internet as the platform used to upload them may be from AOL and hence from an Israeli company. Do not use the Internet to search for answers to your questions as this may involve use of an Israeli-developed search engine. Better to remain unenlightened.

Step 7. On your TV or home entertainment centre, do not use Video On Demand (VOD) to watch movies as you may inadvertently see an advert displayed using Israeli software. Do not purchase any games devices as these are likely to use Israeli technology.

Step 8. Do not read books using an e-book as this may contain Israeli technology. Do not use data storage as it may have been developed at Israel’s storage technology R&D center.

Step 9. Do not buy an electric car as it is likely to be powered with an Israeli battery or use Israeli developed charging mats. Continue to sit in traffic knowing that you are polluting the environment and financing oil-rich despotic regimes.

Turning to food and drink, all food outlets on the organisation’s premises must dispose of cherry tomatoes, which were developed in Israel. Staff must ensure that no cherry tomatoes are included in sandwiches brought into office premises. The ban also applies to honey and any products derived from honey. Israel has developed solutions to the worldwide problem of bee-colony collapse, so that any products derived from bees might only be available now due to an Israeli invention.

Avoid drinking any of the world-recognised award-winning Israeli wines. Do not consume homemade drinks from Israeli-manufactured household drinks machines.

Avoid any fruit from South Africa or Peru as produce from these countries is being marketed with Israeli brand names.

No agricultural products from the following areas may be consumed as they use water irrigation and agricultural technology provided directly from Israel. This includes most of Africa, China, India, Indonesia (a Muslim country), Nepal and many others.

Much fruit and vegetables (including organic) imported into the UK has been enhanced using Israeli technology. This may save millions of people from starving around the world, but is not a good reason for you to eat it. To be safe, only eat fruit and vegetables that you have grown yourself using seeds that have been in your family for generations.

PART TWO: HEALTH

Destroy all personal medication. Israel’s Teva Pharmaceuticals, the largest generic drugs company in the world, will have manufactured many of your medicines. People with the following illnesses will need to take specific precautions:

Cancer - do not take any form of medication or treatment. Israeli scientists have been working at the forefront of oncology for decades.

AIDS and HIV – beware; researchers at Israel’s Weizmann Institute or Hebrew University developed or improved AZT and Hypericin-based drugs; they have also developed a treatment that destroys HIV-infected cells without damaging healthy ones.

Diabetes – do not measure or inject Insulin using the devices developed by Israeli scientists.

Multiple Sclerosis – stop taking Copaxone, one of the most efficient medicines and the only non-interferon agent, as Teva developed it. Don’t touch Laquinimod either.

Parkinson’s – remove the Israel-pioneered brain pacemaker to stop tremors. Discontinue Levodopa, which reduces motor disturbances. Cease sessions that involve magnetic cortex stimulation.

People with a family history of heart disease and arteriosclerosis must not use the Israeli device for early detection of these. Rather, wait until onset of the disease.

Epileptics – stop treatment that may have benefited from the Israeli discovery of the underlying mutant gene; also throw away the bracelet that sends out an alert when a person goes into seizure.

People with Age-related Macular Degeneration should remove Israeli implants that arrest the disease; you may want to ask for medical assistance with this, but please check whether your doctor, who may be Jewish, is pro or anti-Zionist.

Liver disease – abandon Israeli-developed antibody immunotherapy treatments.

Emphysema - steer clear of the Israeli protein replacement therapy.

Myeloma – stop taking the drug Velcade, which was developed over a period of 30 years by scientists in Haifa.

Sleep apnea - do not undergo tests using the breakthrough Israeli device for diagnosis.

Dyslexics must not benefit from the Israeli Internet-based reading system.

Skin allergies must be treated with steroid creams only, as the new safer non-steroid alternative is Israeli.

Any incident of stroke or head trauma or onset of Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, MS, epilepsy, glaucoma or brain tumor must avoid using any of the Weizmann Institute’s patented methods of treatment.

Before any surgery or medical tests, check that hospital catheters have not been protected from infection using the new plastic from Israel that disables microorganisms. Avoid throat surgery as this may utilize Israeli surgical lasers.

Ensure any colonoscopy or gastro investigation does not use internal Israeli cameras such as the Pillcam.

Never undergo surgery to install an artificial heart, as the first artificial heart transplant took place in Israel.

Kidney transplant patients must wait for donors of the same blood group as only Israel’s revolutionary new methods allow donors from other blood groups. Staff of Arab origin must not make use of the only database for matching potential Arab donors of bone-marrow - in Israel.

In the event of a spinal injury or disease, do not accept spinal implants - likely to be an Israeli product or development.

Heart rhythm problems must not be solved with the Israeli-developed heart pulse generator.

All heart stents are off-limits as most of these originate from Israeli medical companies.

Check all vaccines as many of these have been developed in Israel. Ensure that all X-rays do carry a radiation risk, as the only radiation-free system is Israeli.

Treatments derived from Stem Cell research must be avoided as most of these are Israeli-developed.

If you or your family are struck with a bacterial infection, do not take alternatives to older, ineffective bacteria-resistant antibiotics, as an Israeli discovery will have been responsible for the modern, effective drugs.

Check that any pain relief medication is not based on soya as an Israeli doctor discovered the beneficial effect of the soya bean.

Do not use the revolutionary new Israeli bandage that saved the life of Arizona senator Gabriella Giffords after she was shot in the head.

If you break a bone badly, reject any treatment that involves introducing collagen, as this may have been manufactured from Israeli plants.

Do not protect babies and infants from Sudden Infant Death Syndrome with the Babysense system from Israel.

Do not use Epilady (or epilator) – two Israelis invented this hair removal device.

Finally, reject all major dental treatment, as your teeth may need to be scanned with an Israeli-developed dental scanner.

PART THREE: DEALING WITH PEOPLE

When interviewing prospective new staff or holding meetings with members of the public or with individuals from other companies, it is vital that you check whether they originate from, or are associated with the following countries and areas. You must ensure that you do not have any contact with people who have benefited from Israel’s aid to those countries. The organization must avoid any possible acknowledgment of Israel’s contribution to world relief. In addition, you must obtain a formal statement from the government of these countries that Israeli aid was not responsible for the production or development of any goods and services supplied to the organization.

These locations include:

Japan: as well as rescue teams, following the nuclear disaster at Fukushima, Israel supplied Geiger counters, and Israeli thermal imaging cameras are monitoring the reactor cores.

Ghana: has been receiving technological aid from Israel since 2006; Israel is now providing neonatal units to save many of the 4,800 babies that die each year.

New Zealand: Israel sent several rescue teams, temporary shelters and water purification systems following the Christchurch earthquake in Feb 2011.

Chile: rescued miners were treated to a tour of Israel as part of their “Pilgrimage of Thanks” (Feb 2011).

Vietnam: the milk industry is being totally transformed using high-yield Israeli cows.

Uganda: Israeli solar-powered refrigerators were provided to store vaccines used to eliminate an outbreak of Polio from the country in Jan 2011.

Kenya: Israel’s Agency for International Development built a state-of-the-art Emergency Room in a hospital serving 6 million Kenyans in Jan 2011.

The Maldives: although non-Islamic worship is banned here, Israeli eye-doctors performed free operations for citizens in Dec 2010.

Philippines: signed a major trade agreement with Israel in Nov 2010.

Romania: Israeli doctors treated babies following a fire at a neonatal unit in September 2010.

Cameroon: ophthalmologists from Haifa restored vision to patients and trained local medical teams in these procedures in 2010.

The Congo: Israelis medics were the first burn specialists on the scene following the oil tanker fire disaster in July 2010.

Angola: thousands of mines left behind after the civil war were cleared using Israeli technology.

Mississippi: the bio-remediation technique used to clean up after oil spills was developed in Israel.

China: a major purchaser of Israeli technology, and recipient of medical aid and training.
South Africa: Israelis trained their doctors to perform circumcisions to prevent the spread of AIDS.

Haiti: Israel set-up the largest field hospital to treat victims of the 2010 earthquake, the hurricane and the cholera outbreaks and provided vital assistance for over a year.

Sri Lanka: Israel conducted a massive airlift with food, 50 medical staff and rescue teams only 48 hours after the Tsunami in December 2004.

India: Israel sent a fully-equipped field hospital following the Gujarat earthquake of February 2001.

El Salvador: Israel provided significant relief aid following the earthquake in 2001.
Georgia: Israel contributed food and seeds for farmers following a severe drought in 2001.

Turkey: Israel provided relief aid following an earthquake in 2000.

Mozambique: Israel provided relief aid following floods in 2000.

Colombia: Israel sent medical aid and food following an earthquake in 1999.

Venezuela: Presidents Chavez and Maduro appear to have forgotten Israel’s aid following the floods of 1999.

Central America, all countries: Israel sent emergency medical aid teams and equipment to help victims of Hurricane Mitch in 1998.

Pakistan (2005) and Peru (2007) both accepted aid from Israeli NGOs following earthquake disasters.

Peru’s hydro-electric power plants are also being built and run by an Israeli company.

Rwanda, Mexico, Chad, Sudan (Darfur) and Malawi have all received humanitarian aid from Israel, including medical assistance from Israel’s NGO IsraAID.

Always remember that the boycott extends to any individuals from the above regions that have been exposed to Israeli assistance during the 67 years existence of the current Jewish State.

PART FOUR – OTHER IMPACTS

Reject all products from the USA. Analysis conducted in a typical US state shows that Israeli innovations were responsible for $2.4 billion in direct revenue to that state’s economy in 2009 and generated nearly 6,000 jobs.

Do not tutor your children in advanced Mathematics techniques, which may have originated in Israel. Also, if these techniques are used in your children’s schools, withdraw your children immediately.

Keen ornithologists should consider giving up their hobby as many rare species stop off or reside in Israel during their twice-yearly migration.

Do not watch the new series of NCIS as one of the actresses is Israeli.

Avoid going to any football matches featuring teams with Israeli players.

Destroy all your recordings of Madonna, Bob Dylan, Simon & Garfunkel, Deep Purple, Bon Jovie, Justin Bieber, George Benson, Moby and many, many more artists who have ridiculed the illogical boycott and have proudly performed (or will shortly perform) concerts in Israel.

Destroy any recordings of U2, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Bruce Springsteen, Beck, Rihanna Coldplay and any artist whose music has been recorded using the sound technology of the Grammy Award winning Israeli company Wave Audio. You also must get rid of any personal copies of Shrek, American Beauty and Star Wars. Do not trust anything recorded by Sony, JVC, Toshiba or Dell.

Don’t go to see The Black Swan with Natalie Portman, or watch any old films with Elizabeth Taylor - both lovers of the Jewish State (Natalie was actually born in Jerusalem).

Do not stay in hotels or visit shopping centers owned by Israeli companies (sorry, you will need to check which ones yourself but all the major chains have links in Israel).

Do not have anything to do with the banks who are using Israeli software to prevent fraud.

Do not use any credit or debit card as the Security monitoring system used by the credit card companies is likely to be Israeli.

Do not buy an engagement ring containing a diamond as it is possible that this may have been cut in Israel.

Do not travel by air, as your plane might get towed by the Israeli-built “Taxibot.”

Do not use public transport inside Amsterdam, Moscow or Northern China in case you benefit from Israeli transportation devices.

If you suffer a power or network failure, be grateful that at least you haven’t installed the Israeli system that prevents power outages.

Finally, you need to leave all your taps running when you leave home and must never flush your toilet, because Israel provides water-saving technology to over half of the planet. It is also providing sewage treatment technology across the world, including to the UK.

It should be obvious by now that all the measures specified in Parts 1 – 4 of this series of blogs will inevitably mean that your organization and your staff will be completely unable to function. Let us therefore hope that the decision by your organization to boycott Israeli products is flushed down the toilet of history;though of course it can't be, as the technology to do so is Israeli.

And if anyone would like to share with me a list of all the many things you would have to boycott, if you were to boycott Iran, say, or any of the other merciful and compassionate Islamic states in the world, feel free to use to comment box below to do so.

Marks for: Not awarded under the terms of the international boycott

Marks against: 6,180,300 (this being, as of 31/11/2014, the number of Jews who have the gall, or let us say the chutspah, to inhabit an area of the Moslem-Arab world that should, by rights, be completely Judenrein.)

The Argaman Press

David Prashker's World Hourglass

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Jersey

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Jarvis Island

Saturday, March 21, 2015

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Friday, March 20, 2015

Israel

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